My Teenager Won’t Talk to Me. Should I Be Worried?

By The Synapse Team · Published 6 November 2026

In brief

• Teenagers talking less to their parents is a normal part of growing up. Wanting privacy is not the same as shutting you out.
• It is worth acting when the silence comes with other changes: low mood, dropping friends, avoiding school, or changes in sleep or eating.
• Pushing them to talk usually leads to less talking. Time side by side, like a car journey, often works better than questions face to face.
• If you want to talk it through, Message Mollie. It costs nothing and might be helpful.

“How was school?” “Fine.” The door closes. Conversations that used to flow now get one-word answers, and anything personal is met with a shrug. It can feel like rejection. Usually it isn’t.

Why teenagers talk less

Pulling back from parents is part of becoming independent. Teenagers turn more to their friends, want more privacy and are working out what they think without you. Feelings can also be hard to put into words, especially when they are not sure what they feel themselves.

When it is probably part of growing up

• They still talk about some things, even if not the things you most want to know.
• They are getting on with school, see friends and seem fairly settled at home.
• They still come to you when something practical goes wrong.

When it is worth getting help

• The silence is new, and it has lasted a few weeks.
• It comes with low mood, irritability, or changes in sleep or eating.
• They have pulled away from friends as well as from you.
• They are avoiding school or spending most of their time alone in their room.
• You sense something has happened that they cannot tell you about.

If you think something has happened online, read online bullying and cyberbullying. If they rarely leave their room, read My teenager won’t leave their bedroom.

If your child talks about not wanting to be alive or about harming themselves, speak to your GP straight away or call NHS 111. In an emergency, call 999. See our urgent support page.

What you can try this week

• Talk side by side. Car journeys, walking the dog or cooking together take the pressure off eye contact.
• Ask less, notice more. “You seem tired this week” opens more doors than “What’s wrong?”
• Stay calm when they do tell you something. If they expect you to panic or judge, they will stop telling you.
• Share a bit of yourself. A story about your own day, or a time you got something wrong, invites them in.
• Leave the door open. “I’m here if you want to talk, and I won’t push” is worth saying, even if it gets an eye-roll.

How a Coach helps

Some things are easier to say to someone who isn’t your parent. A Coach gives your child a space to talk that is theirs, with someone they can relate to. Sessions are confidential, which helps young people speak freely. If we are ever worried about your child’s safety, we will contact you straight away. Coaching also helps young people find the words for what they feel, which can make talking at home easier too. Your child keeps the same Coach from start to finish.

“After coaching, I’ve been far more open with my parents and feel like they’d be able to comfort and help me if I needed it.” Synapse Client*

*Shared with permission. Details have been changed to protect privacy.

Not sure whether it is time to get help? Read Does my teenager need professional help? If you have raised it and they said no, read What if they say no to help?

Support from Synapse

Synapse provides clinically supervised behavioural health coaching for young people aged 11 to 25. Every programme begins with a clinical assessment. Read who we support and how Coaching works. The first conversation with Mollie is at no charge, with no commitment.

Message Mollie