In brief
Mocks are approaching. Your child says they have revision under control. You’re less convinced. Asking about it starts an argument; saying nothing feels irresponsible.
We recognise that position. You want to help, but you can easily become the person doing all the planning and reminding while your child becomes increasingly resistant.
The useful question is what would help them take responsibility for the next step.
Grades matter to young people, and a disappointing result can hurt. But mocks also reveal what needs attention before the final exams: knowledge they cannot yet recall, questions they misunderstood or time they struggled to manage.
Afterwards, “What would you do differently next time?” opens a more useful conversation than “Why didn’t you revise more?”
A result gives them something to work with. It does not settle what they are capable of.
Some young people welcome help organising revision. Others experience every enquiry as an inspection.
Ask what would be useful. Would they like help finding practice papers? Someone to test them? A brief check-in at an agreed time?
Agreeing this gives you a role without making every encounter about revision. It also leaves responsibility with them.
If they are doing very little, find out what is getting in the way. They may not understand the subject, know how to revise or feel able to face how much there is to do. “You need to get on with it” won’t resolve those different problems.
“Revise biology” is a large, vague instruction. “Answer five questions on cell division, then check the answers” gives them somewhere to begin.
A useful plan identifies the task, when they will do it and how they will check their understanding. It should fit around school and leave room for breaks.
Hours at a desk tell you little on their own. What matters is whether the work is helping them learn.
Reading notes can feel productive because the material becomes familiar. Answering a question without looking shows what they can actually recall.
A major review of study techniques rated practice testing as one of the most effective, and rereading and highlighting as among the least. (Association for Psychological Science)
Your child could close the book and write down what they remember about a topic, then check what they missed. Or attempt a question and use the mark scheme to understand where marks were lost. Flashcards work the same way.
Their teacher can help them choose suitable material and tackle anything they do not understand.
Be careful about turning results into a financial transaction. A payment for a particular grade puts attention on an outcome your child cannot entirely control.
You can still recognise effort and make revision more bearable. A favourite meal or something enjoyable after a session can offer encouragement without attaching a price to achievement.
Notice the behaviours they can repeat: starting when they said they would, asking for help or returning to a topic they found difficult.
Sleep and time away from revision support the work. They are not things a young person has to earn by studying for long enough.
The NHS says most teenagers need 8 to 10 hours’ sleep a night, and that sleep will do more for them than a few hours of panicky last-minute study. A workable routine is more useful than an ambitious timetable that leaves everyone exhausted. (NHS)
Keep some conversations free of exams, too. Your child still needs to feel that you enjoy their company.
If revision repeatedly ends in distress or avoidance, look beyond the timetable. Speak to school about what they are seeing and what support could help. If anxiety or low mood is severe, persists and affects everyday life, the NHS suggests seeing a GP. (NHS)
Signs that the pressure has become more than a revision plan can fix:
These are not laziness. They usually mean a young person is running out of ways to cope. If exam pressure has left your child exhausted and flat for weeks, read Burnout in Teenagers and Young Adults: Signs and What Helps.
Synapse does not provide tutoring. A Behavioural Health Coach works with your child to find out what is getting in the way, agree small, manageable actions and follow through on them week by week. All coaching is clinically supervised.
Mollie Royds, our Head of Client Experience and Care Management, reads every message and replies within one working day. You can start with what is happening at home; you don’t need to have worked out the answer. The first conversation is at no charge, with no commitment.
