As a parent you know the feeling: your child is upset, worried, or overwhelmed — and your instinct is to step in and fix it. You search for the right words, the right solution, the magic answer that will make it all better.
But here’s the truth: when a young person is hurting, what matters most isn’t what you say — it’s how you listen. They care more about how you receive their words than how you respond.
When the world feels heavy, their nervous system is already in overdrive. Logic often doesn’t land. What helps most is presence. Being there. Holding space. Showing them they are not alone.
So, how do you do that in practice?
Slow your breathing. Put your phone down. Make eye contact. Keep your tone gentle. Show them you are fully there. Sometimes the most healing thing you can offer is your quiet, focused attention.
Instead of jumping in with advice, reflect what they’ve said. Try:
The urge to fix is natural — but it can cut short their own process of feeling and working things through. Trust that listening deeply, asking thoughtful questions, and simply being present is often more transformative than any quick solution.
You don’t need to be profound, polished, or perfect. The greatest gift you can give is your presence. That reassurance — “I’m here, and you’re not alone” — is more powerful than any advice.
